In our fast-paced and often stress-filled world, relational challenges have become one of the most significant factors impacting mental health. While marriage can be a source of strength, love, and joy, it can also bring about stress that impacts mental well-being. These challenges can sometimes lead to conflicts, misunderstandings, and feelings of isolation, gradually impacting mental health for both partners. Addressing these stressors with intention and compassion is essential for both individual well-being and a flourishing marriage.
By understanding how relational stresses affect the mind, body, and spirit, we can use approaches rooted in interpersonal neurobiology and the Wellness Competency Mindset to strengthen and nurture marriages. In my latest book, A Marriage That Thrives, I explore how these tools can help couples transform marital stress into growth opportunities and bring resilience, peace, and purpose to their relationships.
How Relational Stresses Impact Mental Health
Marital conflicts are among the most intense forms of relational stress. Common challenges, such as differences in communication styles, unaddressed trauma, financial pressures, and parenting decisions, can create tension and unease. When stressors go unresolved, they not only cause emotional strain but can also affect mental health by increasing anxiety, depression, and even physical health issues due to chronic stress responses.
Relationships impact our mental health through a powerful feedback loop where emotional pain affects both partners’ mental states. This pain often manifests in stress-related mental health symptoms, such as:
- Anxiety and Worry: Constantly worrying about a partner’s feelings or the state of the marriage can create an undercurrent of anxiety.
- Depression and Loneliness: Lack of emotional connection or feeling unsupported can lead to a sense of loneliness, which may contribute to depression.
- Emotional Suppression: When partners avoid discussing painful issues, it can create “silent suffering,” where unexpressed emotions lead to built-up frustration, resentment, and mental fatigue.
To break the cycle of relational stress impacting mental health, we must look to the science of interpersonal neurobiology, a powerful approach to understanding relationships and the mind.
The Role of Interpersonal Neurobiology in Marital Health
Interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB) examines how relationships shape our brains and, subsequently, our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Developed by Dr. Daniel Siegel, IPNB provides insights into how relational dynamics affect our mental and emotional health. It highlights the role of brain plasticity in responding to marital stress and underscores the fact that, as human beings, we are profoundly interconnected. What happens in our relationships—especially in a marriage—deeply impacts the brain and body.
Through IPNB, we recognize that healthy, supportive relationships promote neuroplasticity, allowing us to adapt and grow. Positive relational interactions can trigger the brain’s reward systems, fostering feelings of connection and calm. Conversely, stressful or negative interactions trigger survival responses, releasing cortisol and activating the fight-or-flight response, which increases mental health risks if prolonged.
In A Marriage That Thrives, I discussed how partners can use the principles of IPNB to “rewire” the brain for better interactions. By focusing on empathy, active listening, and mindful communication, couples can engage in healthier relationship patterns, alleviating stress and promoting mutual understanding. These skills help reinforce the bond between partners, setting the stage for emotional healing and resilience. To apply these skills in your life and marriage, get your copy of the book here.
You can also join an upcoming couples group session that I run in the City of Winnipeg or at one of the other organizations I visit.
Things to Ponder:
Would you like to build better communication in your marriage? Is there room to grow and become a better spouse?
Action Step:
Join a couples coaching group, get a copy of my book, create a book club or seek help from a therapist or counselor.
Be Well,
Joyce
